Who Loved Me Through My Rebel Way?

who loved me through my rebel way

One of my favourite bands Hillsong United released their latest record ZION almost two months ago but I still can’t stop listening to it. Because more than the musical feast it offers, it is comfort to my soul. My favourite track off the record would have to be Stay and Wait:

Who spoke the Earth and sky to form
Who sets the sun and calls the dawn
Who breathed me out of dust to life
The will to trust or run and hide

This gives me perspective on how BIG God is and how he is ultimately in control of everything. The last line in the verse is especially eye-opening to me as it is a reminder that we make our choices. It’s easy to blame God when bad things happen, but the truth is that human beings make their choices and most of the bad things that happen in this world are due to sinful and selfish choices. God has nothing to do with them. Without free will, love wouldn’t be love at all.

I will stay should the world by me fold
Lift up your name as the darkness falls
I will wait and hold fast to your word
Heart on Your heart and my eyes on You

It’s amusing how life is a mere cycle of mountains and valleys. Yesterday I was on a mountain and today I’m in the trenches in a valley. I’m so thankful that the Bible isn’t archaic or outdated in its teachings and encouragements. There’s so much wisdom in it and assurance that God is calling the shots and that he’s holding me in the palm of his hands no matter how shaky or scary things get. There are really myriad situations that I don’t understand and I cannot fathom or explain but knowing that ultimately God has said that his plans for me are to prosper me and to give me a hope and a future, it isn’t difficult for my faith to stand. I trust God in the darkness. I trust God in the valley. I trust God in my brokenness and shame. I trust that he knows what he’s doing and if he didn’t spare his only son for me, why would I even doubt for a second that he wants to BLESS me beyond measure?

Who loved me through my rebel way
Who chose to carry all my shame
Who breathes in me with endless life
The king of glory Jesus Christ

This is quite possibly my favourite line in the entire song: Who loved me through my rebel way? How many times have I broken God’s heart with my countless sins? A thousand times I’ve failed; still his mercy remains. Knowing that God loves me with the same measure today as when I refused to answer his call and follow his way brings me to my knees. It is not fear that makes me want to obey him—it is his love and forgiveness that he so generously extends. I am caught up in grace LIKE AN AVALANCHE. And because he has carried my shame on the cross, I don’t have to feel condemned or guilty any longer.

I will stay should the world by me fold
Lift up your name as the darkness falls
I will wait and hold fast to your word
Heart on Your heart and my eyes on You

God of wonder and God of grace
Let my soul stand always to praise You
Fix my eyes on Your perfect way
And I’ll never look back

When we focus on the cross and on God’s goodness, it’s easy for me to lay aside my pain and know that every trial I am going through, God is allowing me to experience in order to make my character more like his. And everything changes when we focus on him. Forget the past and look forward to what is ahead. I’m just so humbled by everything that God has done in my life. Particularly in the area of my friendships. I am so grateful for the people that he has surrounded me with. I know I am loved beyond measure.

I will stay should the world by me fold
Lift up your name as the darkness falls
I will wait and hold fast to your word
Heart on Your heart and my eyes on You

Who lifts the poor and heals the blind
Who trampled death for all mankind
Who stands for all with arms stretched wide
My King forever Jesus Christ

THIS is our God.

**Here are the original and ‘reloaded’ versions of Stay & Wait:

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